April 10, 2013

Hopelessly Romantic

Me: "Hello, my name is Alexa and I have been a hopeless romantic for 22 years."

At least that's how I assume some sort of support group would start off. 
Let me explain.

Today I watched Justin Timberlake's video for his new song Mirrors. (see below)
For the first time I actually really listened to the lyrics as well, and while JT is no legendary poet I found myself really touched by the premise of the song: To find your other half in someone else. The video is also quite nice. Aside from some spectacular videography (in my opinion) the video focuses on one couple in what seems to be flashbacks. I'll admit this one took me a while to figure out. 

The video is actually inspired by and dedicated to JT's grandparents who were soul-mates and were married for over 60 years until his grandfather's passing.

It sparked a bit of a love song chain for me on YouTube which is never a road to anywhere good. I watched Pink's Try, Rihanna's new one called Stay, and of course, some Savage Garden. But it just got me thinking about that kind of love you see in movies, read about in books, hear about in museums while you're looking at a painting. That kind of love where, it may not be easy, but it's always worth it because without it you would have no purpose.

I know that sounds dramatic but that's where this all connects, I got to wondering, do you have to be a hopeless romantic to believe that kind of love is out there? I mean, I feel like we see it in music, or hear stories, or see couples that are the living embodiment of this but still so many people don't believe.

I have to admit, I believe in that all-consuming, suffocating yet freeing, can't-live-without-you kinda love. I think that when you're truly meant to, you'll find it if you want it. Or it will find you. I guess that means I believe in fate, but hey, why not. And I don't think that makes me naive at all. I think if you're going to believe in something, why not love? I found a beautiful definition that explains what it means to be a hopeless romantic in much better terms than I can muster right now, this subject always leaves me scatterbrained.

Hopeless romantics believe in love and fairy tales. They dream of roses and candlelight, walking on the beach at sunset, and dancing in the rain. They know that somewhere out there is a knight in shining armour ready to carry them off, or a beautiful princess waiting to be carried off into the sunset. Hopeless romantics believe in true love, and the eternal bliss that comes from being united with one's soul-mate is what they crave most.

Hopeless romantics recognize in themselves the ability to love infinitely deeply, and they ache to be loved with the same fervor in return. When a hopeless romantic has someone to lavish their affection on, lavish they do. Hopeless romantics sometimes write love letters full of poetic phrases and send flowers, but mostly they try to find a thousand thoughtful little ways to show their love. They make romance into an art form.

Hopeless romantics wear rose-colored glasses. In their eagerness to find "the one," a hopeless romantic may either be extraordinarily picky or not discerning enough. Hopeless non-romantics think that hopeless romantics are delusional and too intense. Other than the seeming futility in the search for a soulmate, nothing frustrates a hopeless romantic more than a significant other who does not understand the hopeless romantic temperament.

Sometimes, in this cynical world, it seems like the population of hopeless romantics is declining. One has only to look at the number of movies and songs about love that are currently popular to prove otherwise. It may also seem that there are many more hopelessly romantic women than romantic men. This isn't surprising in a culture where a man might get snapped at for opening the door for a woman. Men and women often have different ways of expressing their emotions, and the number of hopelessly romantic men is probably much higher than anyone could tell simply by observation.

Hopeless romantics are the idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative, and the fanciful. They give the world its once-upon-a-times and happily-ever-afters. Hopeless romantics may have their feet on the ground, but their souls fly somewhere over the rainbow.

I think that's just lovely.
I know that this romanticism leaks into other areas of my life, but I wouldn't consider myself a "dreamer" type. I just feel like certain parts of your life stand out as the moments where you really truly lived (like driving down a highway with your best friends and your favourite song on with the windows down and you just realize if you could freeze time like that forever, you would) and I think that a hopeless romantic searches for that feeling in their love life as opposed to something that just feels nice, or comfortable.

A hopeless romantic would see no choice between a dysfunctional relationship with their soul-mate or a simpler relationship with someone who is just very compatible with them. They'll stick with the person "meant for them" regardless of what that means. (Just think Noah and Allie from the Notebook, or Tristan and Isolde.)

I'm personally still working on my on-again/off-again relationship with myself and am nowhere near ready to consider someone my other half, but I have unwavering faith that I will one day. Lucky for that person I picked out our wedding song 16 years ago. Probably before I knew people had wedding songs...

Most romantic song on the face of the planet and my all-time favourite love song without a doubt.

Then again maybe I'm just PMSing and this will be an Alanis Morissette tribute tomorrow.



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