365 days.

Press play, this song 100% applies here.




It's funny how much can change in a year isn't it?

This time last year I was getting ready to start my second and (hopefully) final year of Creative Communications. I was blissfully unemployed, spending all my time with friends I'd been missing, getting ready for what would be my last season of competitive volleyball, writing a script I would eventually begin to hate, and working out religiously.

Not a bad start right?
I certainly didn't think so.
But then again, I was also wonderfully ignorant of all the "eventful" things that lay in wait that fall.

(I should probably warn you, this is starting to feel like a diary entry post. Apologies)

You don't feel anything coming right before things falls apart.
There's no sense of impending doom. No blatant warning signs of things to come.
You don't see omens, or have weird foreshadow-y conversations with people.
And you don't know that when you see someone for the last time, it will be the last time.

A year ago today I was visiting my hardworking friends on the Projector staff.
I was telling crazy stories about the ridiculous month I'd had and those of you who know me will probably groan and roll your eyes because you've heard the stories a TRILLION times. (sorry)

School starts. You make new friends. Realize you missed some friends a lot more than you thought. And for me, I was full swing busy again. 8 hours at school everyday, (more if you were in media production like some of us *sob*) plus practices and homework and the harmless seeming IPP.

September was a medley of things for me personally. A crazy weird "high school reunion" (coughcoughblackpathpartycoughcough) that took me back to being 16.  Realizing, I was glad I wasn't 16 anymore. Getting hurt by friends (and "friends"), dealing with it, and trying to focus on other things.
And here I was thinking that was complicated.

October proved me wrong.
October. Fucking sucked.

If you've ever lost anyone I don't need to explain to you the strangeness of it all.

It's like playing peek-a-boo when you're little, but one time you open your eyes and the other person is just

gone.


Watching your best friends suffer through that, is really, really hard.
It's even worse when you don't know what to say.
...
And then it happens again.
And it's un-fucking-believable.

I won't get into it. Last fall, was not fun.

But life goes on. And while some relationships in your life become SO important, others just kinda fall by the wayside. And of course that "life is short" perspective doesn't last forever. And other personal drama comes back again, and again, and again, and AGAIN.

I learned first hand how much fun the domino effect can be.

Then you realize time has passed. And it's March.
And you wake up from that winter long slumber of academic hell, just in time for the grand finale of course.

Then it's over. April. May, Summer.

You reset. refresh. reflect. re-evaluate.

I would give anything to go back a year and relive today.
But you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to relive the past 365 of them.

Things are different.
No more extracurricular activities. People have moved away.
I wonder if that really great conversation I had with that person is an omen.
I take last looks before I walk away from a friend, just in case.
We don't get drunk and run around the streets.. as often.
I'm working all the time, and I wonder if I'll ever have time for all the people I miss.

At the same time, a year ago feels like yesterday.
It's almost fall again.
I'm getting ready for school again.
Have stupid personal drama that makes me feel like the sky is falling, again.
Work out religiously again. (at least that's what I tell myself)
And I have crazy stories to tell again.

It's funny how much stays the same after a year isn't it?